I always like to keep current on
the news of the weird. It just helps
with day to day conversation. Today the
news of the weird included a story about a potential serial toe-sucker wreaking havoc in Conway, Arkansas. My favorite
part of this story is the toe-sucking assailant going up to a woman in a
department store and telling her that her toes were “long and succulent.” The guy leaves when the woman’s cell phone
goes off, but then finds her again.
Ultimately, she reports him to the police and describes him as wearing
flip flops, a t-shirt and blue jeans. She then felt compelled to add that he
had, “messed up toes.” Turns out, this
is not the first time a toe-sucker has sucked his way through Conway. In the 1990s, a man police called the “Toe-Suck
Fairy” plagued the town and surely single-mouthedly halted the sale of
open-toed shoes. You just can’t make
this shit up. It should be noted that I
have been to Conway, Arkansas. It is the
home of Pickles Gap Village. Conway has
provided me with lots of funny photo opportunities. Including this picture I took of David’s
giant cock.
Thank you Conway for your weird news and great photo ops!
In other news of the weird,
apparently an over-zealous SpongeBob got his sponge ass kicked. Costumes like this creep me out. I dislike it immensely when they come at you
smiling and waving. I don’t want a hug
from them, I don’t want them to touch me…I want them to keep shuffling on their
merry way. I have imagined myself doing
this countless times…just because the visual is appealing and funny. So finding this made me laugh.
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